CHAIRMAN
Chart
new lower$VLADper chairman
fig. 1 — product rotates in reality

Click product to add to cart — cart: 0 VLAD

VLAD

Load-bearing executive chair. Man/leather hybrid, self-assembling.

5.0 (69,420 verified sitters)Bestseller
  • Carries the Robinhood chain. Also carries every meme in crypto.
  • The CEO merged with a chair. Nobody asked questions.
  • No lumbar support. He supports the market instead.
  • He cannot stop us. He is a chair.
View live chartThe prophecy

In stock: circulating supply — delivery method: sent

Included in box: 1 manual, 0 explanations

Assembly instructions

Difficulty: inevitable

  1. 1fig. 1a — factory diagram
    fig. 1a — factory diagram

    THE MERGE

    Insert one (1) CEO of Robinhood into one (1) leather chair. No tools required. It happened on its own. Do not ask why.

  2. 2fig. 2a — certified recipe
    fig. 2a — certified recipe

    THE CRAFT

    4 legs + 1 head = VLAD. The recipe is public. The result is load-bearing. Warranty void if separated from the meme economy.

  3. 3fig. 3a — maximum load test
    fig. 3a — maximum load test

    THE CARRY

    Place entire memecoin market on seat. VLAD is rated for all of it. He is not just carrying the Robinhood chain anymore — he carries every meme in crypto.

  4. 4fig. 4a — mass production
    fig. 4a — mass production

    THE SEND

    Assembly complete. Send the Chairman. Product will spin on its own. This is normal. This is the product working.

Warehouse minigame — stackable design

Stack the Chairman

art. 424.242.42 — one slip, all down

Some assembly required

Build the tallest stack

Drop the Chairman onto each other. The higher you go, the wobblier it gets. One slip and it all comes down.

Tap / click / space to drop

Warning: chairmen are not load-bearing. Stack at your own risk.

Measurements & important information

Product details

Audited by a guy who sat on him

Legs

double your favorite dev

4

Heads

always watching the chart

1

Chill

measured twice to be sure

0

Taxes

he is furniture

0 / 0

Max load

stress-tested by the entire market

ALL MEMES

Material

ethically merged

CEO / LEATHER

Lumbar support

he supports the market instead

NONE

Assembly

product assembles you

SELF

5.0 average — 69,420 verified sitters

Customer reviews

100% would sit again

Verified sit

I sat. I made it.

Delivery was instant. He was already in my living room when I got home. Did not order that part but the carry is real.

— anon_4200

Verified sit

Better than my Herman Miller

My old chair supported my back. This one supports the entire meme economy. It also watches me while I trade. 5 stars.

— chartwatcher.eth

Verified sit

Bought a chair, received a movement

Assembly instructions said 'inevitable' and they were right. He assembled himself at 3am. Portfolio has been carried since.

— seatedandfeeless

Disputed

Please stop

I am not a chair. This is defamation. My legal team says— actually the seat is quite comfortable. Never mind. Sending it.

— vlad_tenev_real